As I was distractedly meandering around the local Supermarket this last weekend, pushing a cart progressively being filled with goods curated thoughtfully by my wife, we arrived at the aisle that represents the epitome of this choice and diversity - the Breakfast Cereal Section, where every known grain, every critical nutrient and every fathomable source of energy is well represented by a dozen different manufacturers with varying amounts of sugar, and color, in every permutation to attract the full spectrum of consumers.
Products and packaging are carefully tailored to appeal to key target demographics. Choices in each flavor are meticulously researched and matched with the right base product. And of course, there's always the brand ambassador - the popular fit filmstar or sporting hero that flexes his/her muscles in tank tops holding a box of his/her favorite cereal smiling broadly at the perplexed consumer who is intimidated by the variety of choices available - how does one make the right choice under these circumstances?
As the weight of this predicament hit my disinterested brain, it dramatically bounced off in every direction, to activate hundreds of different neurons and put up quite the light show in a very unrelated part of the brain - the Political Sciences. The figurative light bulb that went off in my head presented a hypothesis so imaginative, that it could've only pulled it from the depths of boredom -
"What if the choices in the cereal boxes represent the choices available to us in the political system?"
"What if cereals from the Breakfast section hold the key to cracking the political dysfunction that has been creeping into the Democracies of the World?"
"What if this aisle is a mirror image of our democracy?!"
* * *
There is always the safe, stereotypical choice. It is a form of corn flakes with whole grains, has under 4g of sugar per serving, 9g of Carbs, and over 5g in protein (which, if you think about it, is identical to a Harvard/Oxford Degree, 15 years as a lawyer, and a 10 year career in Politics). It doesn't promise to do anything out of the ordinary, strictly understands and commits to performing nothing but the most basic function. It is not very creative, but it can work well with anything else you throw with it - Bananas? Sure, why not! Chocolate Syrup? Bring it on. Nuts? Oh Love those guys, get on the alliance! The safe choice understands it is not exciting, so its best selling proposition is compatibility with other breakfast foods. But who wants a safe choice right???
There is the seasonal flavor, exploiting the current health trend, which at this point evolves every 15 days, or so it seems!! There is a demonstrated lack of anthocyaninsin such type of cereals - the antioxidants that actually bring the nutrition in. Politicians of this class bring limited nutrition - no ability to actually legislate or lead - but are great at marketing the pros of their miracle food - anti-corruption or war-mongering or taxes or social reform - without moving the needle much. These cereals can sell once, but not twice, and depending on the damage they cause to your tastebuds or health, voters gravitate to the worst possible choice next.
The most dangerous choice is the one where you know its not good for you, but you are just getting back to eating breakfast again, and feel the need to be drawn in with a controversial choice. Such cereals are high on sugar, promise to give you everything you are looking for, and are available everywhere you can look. But when you eat them for breakfast, all you get is a 7 minute high followed by an extended period of self-loathing and introspection into questionable decision making about riding waves that you don't understand. Seriously, everyone knew the guy was a dufus, who exactly thought this would be a good idea, let alone dragging the rest of the voter base down with such suicidal thinking?!?!
The worst part about the experiments of the above kind, is what follows - the unbeatable urge to overcompensate. "If I can make a bad decision at the one extreme, I can only fix it by making a bad decision at the other extreme." Bad choices now pave the way for terrible choices later.
Scarred forever by consecutive debilitating elections, such disillusioned consumers give up permanently on the breakfast system, opting instead to put their faith in farfetched unproven principles like anarchy, and in some extreme cases, intermittent fasting.
* * *
Four voting cycles gone by. You start to learn some lessons. You start to see the point that you are never going to be in love with the breakfast cereal. And that is because breakfast cereals suck. Whoever thought waking up in the morning in deep slumber and chewing the cud for nutrition and fiber made sense?
You start to accept the fact that cereals are a flawed concept, but your best fibrous shot at a successful trip to the bathroom in the morning- at least the best shot that doesn't cause cancer. When everything is said and done, all the trends and waves come and go, the stereotypical box of cereal you originally said no to is still sitting in the same place on the aisle, and doesn't look as bad anymore. You are ok with giving up on cool looking boxes, when you realize these cereals wont set your breakfast on fire, but they wont cause long term harm to your well being either.
And that's because as much as the media tries to convince you that your life revolves around breakfast and politics, reality is that this is only one compartment of your life, and that your well-being depends cumulatively on all the other choices you make to keep your health and sanity in check.
What's important is no matter how bad your choices, you keep voting because eventually you will make the safe choice that defeats a crackpot and on that day, your Gut and Democracy will thank you.
* * *
We were checking out, and the lady at the end of the Self-Scan line felt compelled to make a personal connection by staring at our bag and remarking,
"Oh, Kellogs' Krave with Chocolate filled inside? My 6-year-old loves that!"
Bad choices now pave the way for terrible choices later.
