Whenever a new-born kid is doomed to Engineering in the 10th second after his birth by his parent (3 idiots style), he spends the next 18 useless years of his life praying that he somehow makes it to Sri Sivasubramaniya Nadar College of Engineering, more specifically to the Mechanical Engineering Department. This is because this is the only department in the World (all hi tech colls like MIT, Stanford, Harvard included ) where students join college because they dont ever have to attend college thereafter ! Yes, a study conducted by the Researchers in Motion institute, found that an average Mechie in SSN spends more time going out of college than coming inside and attending classes put together. Bunking is no joke. A lot of brains go behind every successful bunking schedule. And this is one science that we have tried to master over the four years of engineering.
In an attempt to document the various findings of regular bunkers over the past few years, I have attempted here to list the various fundamental algorithms that some great minds have developed after scores of bunking experiences. This is intended to help all future generations of bunkers, in SSNCE, and in colleges other parts of the World.
1 : The NK Algorithm
Developed By : His Highness, Sir N. Kartheik
Principles:
First Law of NK: Planning is the fundamental pre-requisite to success.
Second Law of NK: Time>Money.
Pseudo Code:
Step 1: Start
Step 2: Plan the days you will bunk one week in advance
Step 3: On the planned days, tell no one, ask no one, just leave.
Step 4: Walk to the Bus stop at the entrance, if no alternative means of transport available
Step 5: When at the bus stop, take the first bus that comes in the direction that you want to travel in. Even if it goes only till the next stop. Even if its an AC bus.
Step 6: Check If You are at Destination.
Step 7: If Yes,Walk Home.
If No, Repeat Step 5.
Step 8: End.
Advantages: This algorithm will take you home in the shortest time.
Disadvantages: This will cost you more than an average trip.
Applications:
If you have exams in the near future and you came to college to collect your hall ticket.
If you are alone and dont have company anyway. (This is a paradox because no Mechie comes to coll when others dont come. Sigh they dont come to coll even when everyone else comes. What ?? Thats a paradox again. Everyone doesnt come when everyone comes ? Or they dont come ? I dont know.)
2 : The RamG Algorithm
Developed By : Dr. Ram Ganesh, The Great.
Principle:
Money>Everything Else.
Pseudo Code:
Step 1: Start
Step 2: Dont bunk
Step 3: If no class is happening, go sit in the Library or the Lab.
Step 4: If they are closing down the entire college and you have no other go, leave.
Step 5: Dont walk to the entrance. Wait for a college bus shuttle to come.
Step 6: When at the bus stop, wait for the most direct bus.
Step 7: Get into a bus only when it goes directly to your doorstep. Otherwise Repeat Step 6.
Step 8: End.
Advantages: Following this method will rarely cost a journey more than 15 rupees.
Disadvantages: By the time you reach home, it may be time for you to leave again. In other words, this takes an eternity for you to reach your destination.
3. The Viggy Ram Algorithm
Developed by: Vignesh "Soccer" Ramachandran
Principle:
First Law of Viggy Ram: There are only two reasons to come to college.
1. To play
2. To leave home
Second Law of Viggy Ram: Friend in need is a friend indeed. Your best friend is the one who is ready to leave with you.
Third Law of Viggy Ram: Travel Direction is never a criteria to choose a bus.
Pseudo Code:
Step 1: Start
Step 2: Go play football
Step 3: If your gang is tired, play football with someone else
Step 4: When no one wants to play football, go play Table Tennis.
Step 5: When no one is playing anything, prepare to leave.
Step 6: Scout people to leave along with you.
Step 7: If no one known friend comes along, take a random guy you've never met before instead. He is a new friend.
Step 8 : When at the bus stop, take the first bus, whichever direction it goes in - EVEN THE WRONG DIRECTION IS FINE.
Step 9 : Whenever the bus stops, take another bus, preferably in the right direction.
Step 10: Hopefully you reach your destination
Step 11: End
Advantages: You get a chance to meet new people, make new friends.
Disadvantages: Your attendance is bound to suffer. As is your pocket money, cos you are spending it on bus journeys more than on food.
Applications: Have a Girlfriend ? No better way to spend quality time with her. Last rows on MTC Volvo buses are among the most romantic places on Earth.
4. The Irfaan Algorithm
Developed by: Mohammed Irfaan aka "Jack Fruit"
Principle : There is nothing wrong in asking.
Pseudo Code:
Step 1: Start
Step 2: Get ready to leave home - with or without company
Step 3: When at the bus stop, look for any kind hearted car drivers
Step 4: When you see a car, ask for a lift - even if the person inside the same sir whose class you will be bunking that day.
Step 5: Travel for free, till wherever he can drop you.
Step 6: Take a bus from there to your destination.
Step 7: End.
Advantages: Osi la travel comfortably in AC.
Disadvantages: The Sir may screw your internals.
Applications: Ideal when the car belongs to a person who does not handle classes for you.
4. The Adarsh Algorithm
Developed by: Adarsh Prashant (who has never been seen before)
Principle: You will have to leave home from college only when you come to college in the First place.
Pseudo Code:
Step 1: Start
Step 2: Dont come to college
Step 3: End
Advantages: No money waste. No time waste.
Disadvantages: NONE
Applications: Spend time on more fruitful endeavours like NFS, DOTA, CS, etc.
These are the most widely practised methods of "method bunking". As we speak, several other algorithms are under development, and no doubt these shall dominate the scene in the years to come. I sincerely hope that this immensely benefits all future generations of bunkers.
P. S: If you believe that you have developed a new bunking algorithm, please let me know, so I can add your algorithm in here. You shall also have the honour of naming it after yourself - the hallmark of any great researcher.
