(This exclusive report is a part of the 3-post exclusive series on the impact of Ranbir Kapoor's Docomo ad's on nature and humanity at large! Remember, Rohit Subramanian is bringing this to your first. Before all national dailies, before all news networks, why, even before that white hair mandayan, Julian Paul Assange! )
The BCCI issued a statement on Monday evening slamming the TATA Docomo series of ad's with Ranbir Kapoor , calling it a "disgrace" to the body of intelligent ad-film making and squarely blaming it for the abysmally low IPL ratings this season.
While answering the exclusive question asked by the exclusive reporter of India's largest network, BCCI President Shashank Manohar said "This Ranbir Kapoor fellow is totally useless. First, he realised he couldn't make good movies. Then he learnt that he couldn't get the hot chicks. And now, he is screwing up Docomo and IPL also! Watta loser!!"
A visibly annoyed Shashank Manohar went on to say, "He and these Docomo ad's are a disgrace to the body of good ad making. The BCCI thought that the worst of ad making was over with that Idea "Keep Cricket Clean" series with Arjuna Ranatunga and that irritating girl losing network each time. But then this is setting new records."
When asked if these ad's can be held responsible for the falling TRP of the IPL, Mr Manohar said, "Well of course it is because of these ad's! People are scared to switch on the television and see the match these days, scared that they will see Ranbir Kapoor doing his stand-up comedy." When asked what the BCCI was trying to do to counter the effect of Ranbir Kapoor, he said, "Well, seeing that a majority of the cricket viewers are guys, we tried bringing in some hot chicks like Archana Vijaya and Shibani Dandekar, but then viewers started finding them so much more irritating that the TRP's slipped even further."
As the BCCI seems to be considering desperate measures to boost the IPL ratings, your reporter asked Mr.Manohar exclusively, if he was indeed acting in a Bollywood film, as rumours in the past few weeks have suggested. He replied in the affirmative, saying, "Yes, Indeed. We were planning to run the trailers during the IPL finals, like SRK did for Ra.One during the World Cup finals. We certainly hope that will help matters for the IPL ratings." When pressed for further details, he told us, "The film is called Shashank Redemption, and though the title features my name, it will showcase how Lalit Modi escaped jail and how I helped him do it. The film is still under production, and we shall make a formal announcement soon."
On a question about his friendship with Lalit Modi after the IPL 3 fiasco, he said on condition of anonymity,"Well, we cant afford to be enemies with Lalit Modi. No one in the BCCI can. The bloody prick knows everything about what we did. So, its necessary we keep him happy. Its live and let live, basically." Since he didn't want his name to be told, we haven't mentioned his name in this paragraph.
Your network also got to ask some relevant celebrities what they feel about Ranbir Kapoor's Docomo ad's and about the latest to-be sensation - Shashank Redemption.
"My Son committed suicide by drinking Coca-Cola. Ranbir Kapoor is trying to exterminate our race! He must be stopped!"
- Frog artiste, Super Star Crazy Frog
"No one messes with me.
He wanted to compete against me ?
Dickhead. Made a big fool of himself. "
- Vodafone 3G Zoozoo, Superhero of the Telecom ad-space.
"Biggest threat to the animal kingdom since that big meteor explosion 65 million years ago. Frogs, lions, he seems to be behind all of them! "
- Animal Rights activist, Maneka Gandhi.
"Shashank Manohar did have a chat with me on how to go about the role. I gave him a few pieces of advice."
- Morgan Freeman, whose role will be reprised by Shashank Manohar in "The Shashank Redemption"
The Shashank Redemption, Courtesy:http://www.rakeshjhunjhunwala.in/2010/05/iplgate-2010-videogame.html Highly Recommended Read
The BCCI issued a statement on Monday evening slamming the TATA Docomo series of ad's with Ranbir Kapoor , calling it a "disgrace" to the body of intelligent ad-film making and squarely blaming it for the abysmally low IPL ratings this season.
While answering the exclusive question asked by the exclusive reporter of India's largest network, BCCI President Shashank Manohar said "This Ranbir Kapoor fellow is totally useless. First, he realised he couldn't make good movies. Then he learnt that he couldn't get the hot chicks. And now, he is screwing up Docomo and IPL also! Watta loser!!"
A visibly annoyed Shashank Manohar went on to say, "He and these Docomo ad's are a disgrace to the body of good ad making. The BCCI thought that the worst of ad making was over with that Idea "Keep Cricket Clean" series with Arjuna Ranatunga and that irritating girl losing network each time. But then this is setting new records."
When asked if these ad's can be held responsible for the falling TRP of the IPL, Mr Manohar said, "Well of course it is because of these ad's! People are scared to switch on the television and see the match these days, scared that they will see Ranbir Kapoor doing his stand-up comedy." When asked what the BCCI was trying to do to counter the effect of Ranbir Kapoor, he said, "Well, seeing that a majority of the cricket viewers are guys, we tried bringing in some hot chicks like Archana Vijaya and Shibani Dandekar, but then viewers started finding them so much more irritating that the TRP's slipped even further."
As the BCCI seems to be considering desperate measures to boost the IPL ratings, your reporter asked Mr.Manohar exclusively, if he was indeed acting in a Bollywood film, as rumours in the past few weeks have suggested. He replied in the affirmative, saying, "Yes, Indeed. We were planning to run the trailers during the IPL finals, like SRK did for Ra.One during the World Cup finals. We certainly hope that will help matters for the IPL ratings." When pressed for further details, he told us, "The film is called Shashank Redemption, and though the title features my name, it will showcase how Lalit Modi escaped jail and how I helped him do it. The film is still under production, and we shall make a formal announcement soon."
On a question about his friendship with Lalit Modi after the IPL 3 fiasco, he said on condition of anonymity,"Well, we cant afford to be enemies with Lalit Modi. No one in the BCCI can. The bloody prick knows everything about what we did. So, its necessary we keep him happy. Its live and let live, basically." Since he didn't want his name to be told, we haven't mentioned his name in this paragraph.
Your network also got to ask some relevant celebrities what they feel about Ranbir Kapoor's Docomo ad's and about the latest to-be sensation - Shashank Redemption.
- Frog artiste, Super Star Crazy Frog
He wanted to compete against me ?
Dickhead. Made a big fool of himself. "
- Vodafone 3G Zoozoo, Superhero of the Telecom ad-space.
- Animal Rights activist, Maneka Gandhi.
"Shashank Manohar did have a chat with me on how to go about the role. I gave him a few pieces of advice."
- Morgan Freeman, whose role will be reprised by Shashank Manohar in "The Shashank Redemption"
The Shashank Redemption, Courtesy:http://www.rakeshjhunjhunwala.in/2010/05/iplgate-2010-videogame.html Highly Recommended Read
