(This exclusive report is a part of the 3-post exclusive series on the impact of Ranbir Kapoor's Docomo ad's on nature and humanity at large! Remember, Rohit Subramanian is bringing this to your first. Before all national dailies, before all news networks, why, even before that white hair mandayan, Julian Paul Assange! )
The hugely intriguing mystery of the death of thousands of frogs in the recent weeks has finally been solved, with investigators attributing it to Ranbir Kapoor’s Docomo ad.
The Government first appointed ACP Pradyuman and his CID team to solve this case. Subsequently, IPS Officer and action superhero and Kollywood matinee idol and Illayathalapathy and Doctor and the titular owner of many other such things, Dr. Vijay IPS, was roped in to conduct investigations in collaboration with the CID.
World renowned forensics expert, Dr. Dexter, from the Miami Police Department said, “Yes, tests conducted at my lab proved that they were suicides. Apparently, the frogs thought it would be best to die after facing embarrassment on national television.” When asked about the clues that led them to this conclusion, he said, “We found traces of Coca Cola, which is a pesticide... er.. no... oops... which contains pesticides, in their bodies. And seeing that its not the first choice of drink for frogs, we inferred that it was a deliberate attempt at dying and not accidental.” Dr.Dexter however brushed aside questions by journalists asking if any frogs had done a “Brrr...” after drinking the Coca Cola by saying “They didn’t live long enough to do it... no more comments.”
The hugely intriguing mystery of the death of thousands of frogs in the recent weeks has finally been solved, with investigators attributing it to Ranbir Kapoor’s Docomo ad.
Over the past few weeks, more than 5000 frogs were found dead across various parts of the country under mysterious circumstances. It was mysterious because while nearly 50% of the frogs died by drowning in water bodies, almost all the remaining chose to die by drug overdose – causes of death virtually unknown in the anuran kind.
 |
| The Frogs that committed suicide by drinking Coca-Cola |
Close Investigation by Officer Tamil (as Vijay likes to call himself when he is on duty) and his team revealed facts that had escaped the eyes of Crime Scene Investigators brought in especially for this case all the way from Las Vegas, New York and Miami – that the frogs had not died due to an external cause. They had systematically executed themselves after seeing their kind being imitated by Ranbir Kapoor in Tata Docomo’s Ad Campaign.
 |
| The particular moment at which frogs couldn't take it anymore. |
Interestingly, bollywood actresses Deepika Padukone and Sonam Kapoor had also revealed in popular chat show, Koffee with Karan that Ranbir Kapoor hated frogs, but the footage was removed due to irrelevance. The deleted footage resurfaced in a CD mailed to all Media houses. While Rishi Kapoor, father of Ranbir Kapoor, slammed Deepika and Sonam and apparently asked them to say that the CD is doctored, they have refused to do so, adding that Ranbir Kapoor is a sore loser. Security agencies are now wondering if the broadcast of this footage in the original show edit, might’ve helped save the valuable lives of the innocent frogs. It remains to be seen how the authorities will respond to this latest tragedy. Watch this place for more.
The ad that caused the frog-holocaust
A brutal Ranbir Kapoor didnt even leave
the tiny tadpoles out of his horrific jokes.
Much to the anguish of Child Welfare Organisations
